Tuesday, February 04, 2003

Celestine Prophecy and Cinnamon Rolls:

About 2 weeks ago I was shopping at the Village Market and found Cinammon Roll dough in a can. It's the most yummiest treat ever and we used to bake them all the time in Toronto. I was so excited and bought a can so I could make them for Dayle so she could share the joy.

I sat on the bus to go home and put my shopping bags down ... somehow the Cinammon Rolls rolled out of my bag and down the aisle of the bus ... I got up and looked under everyones seat but I couldn't find them. I was so dispappointed ...

I went home and told Amy who was equally as excited that you can get them in America and was equally as disappointed that I had lost them. So we went back to the supermarket that night to buy some more ..

About a week later Amy was telling our Aussie friend Andrew about Cinammon Rolls ... and he goes "oh yeah I've got a can of those in my cupboard ... and you know it's so weird how i got them.. yeah it was really weird, I was just sitting on the bus one night and they rolled down the aisle and hit my foot" ...

We worked out that my Cinammon Rolls had been on the bus for about 2 hours before they found their new home with Andrew ... how Celestine Prophecy is that!
Not yesterday but the day before Dayle and I went on a Snowboarding break ... she was going pretty good .... we were on our way back to the office when I heard her scream. I turned around and she was still screaming ... I knew that something was really wrong ...

I unstrapped my board and ran up the hill ... I must have looked like a complete psycho cause I was sprinting up the hill with my board hanging behind me screaming at everyone that passed to get ski patrol.

Luckily Woolly the Mammoth the Mammoth Mountain Mascot came by just at that time and was able to radio for help ... well Woolly didn't radio cause Woolly isn't allowed to talk and even in times of crisis it seems that Woolly stays in character - his escort radioed for help.. She told Ski patrol the wrong spot but they found us anyway ..
By this time Dayle had gone into shock and was deep breathing ...

Me, Ski Patrol and 2 safety dudes lifted her onto the stretcher and I new her arm was bad when it flopped at her elbow like a piece of dead meat ... Dayle didn't scream or cry she just did deap breathing ...
The Ski Patrol guy sledded her down in the body bag and I followed on my snowboard .. the ambulance came in a few minutes ... they put her in the ambulance and made me wait outside while they treated her ... I climbed into the front of the ambulance and spied through the peep hole but stopped after a few minutes cause it was way to distressing and I thought I was going to be sick .. they wouldn't give her morpheen because her blood pressure was to low ...

Eventutally we got the hospital and the nurse and I cut off her top ... the bone was almost poking through and her arm was seriously deformed ... I told Dayle not to look and I think I freaked her out .. she would have freaked out more if she had looked ...
But then the stupid surgeon came out and showed her the x-ray of her arm ... I told him to put it away but I think she saw ... luckily the morpheen had kicked in and she didn't freak to much ...

He told us that she had snapped her humerous bone and they would have to fix it by sawing some of it off and replacing it with metal plates .. her whole elbow and upper arm would then be held together with permanent internal metal pins ..

Then she went into surgery and I waited for 3 hours ... it was awfull ... i kept on thinking about those stories you hear about people that wake up during surgery but are paralized and can't say anything ...

3 hours later dayle came out of surgery and she was fine ...

She's got this really cool bionic arm now ... her elbow is basically all metal ... and she's gonna be fine ..

And she didn't ever even cry once ...

Friday, January 31, 2003

We went to La Sierra's last night .. it was lame .. lots of old people side step dancing to American Rock ...
But we did meet the weather man for Bishop TV ... I told him that he was doing a crap job cause he keeps on predicting snow but we haven't seen any on the mountain since December ... Dayle gave him our phone number and I got very angry ... I don't want the weather man and his blow-wave calling us all the time ...
We have the coolest phone number ever .. its 934-POEM ... Tina worked that one out ... Dayle told the Weather Man our number in that format so of course he's going to remember it now ... nice one Dayle..
Tina also told us last night that the male version of the "Camel Toe" (def: think lady with very tight, harry hi-pant denim jeans that split the middle) is 'Moose Knuckles" ... there was a very bad Camel Toe side step dancing with a Moose Knuckle last night ... it was revolting ... the Camel Toe's jeans were pulled so high that her back pockets sat on her back not her bum ... and Moose Knuckle had a girls butt ... I nearly had a convulsion in my chair ... so Grosse ...
We found a shop in town that sells Vegemite and Coopers ... life in Mammoth is nearly complete ... all this town needs now is somewhere decent to go out at night ...
Bush announced that he is going to strike in March ... great ... that means that we will be travelling from LA to New York in the middle of a war - probably not the smartest of things to be doing ... I guess we'll have to wait and see what happens between now and then ...
I've been sick ... I caught the Mammoth Crud ... 90% of the Mammoth population has the Mammoth Crud and it is evil ... I spent 36 hours in bed with fever, achy bones, whooping cough, earache, everything ... they need to quarantine this town ...
Dayle convinced me that I was going to go deaf if I didn't go to the doctor's and have my ears syringe cleaned and I listened to her .. I knew I shouldn't have .. I went to the doctor and he said I didn't need to have my ears cleaned but that I had an ear infection and that I should take antibiotics ... I told him I'm allergic but he found one that he thought would be OK .. he charged me $US 88 for this advice ... then I went to Rite Aid to have my prescription filled ... the chemist asked me if I was allergic and I told her .. she told me I shouldn't take the antibiotics that the doctor prescribed because I would be allergic and called the doctor and told him so .. the doctor agreed with her (what was he thinking when he wrote the prescription?????) and they changed my prescription. I went to the stupidest doctor ever and would have ended up in hospital if it weren't for the Rite Aid chemist ... so then I purchased my new prescription for $US 90 ... 7 x antibiotic tablets in total ...
It cost me $AUS 350 for one stupid earache that probably would have gone away by itself anyway ...
Nice one America!

Monday, January 13, 2003

Dayle got really sick last Wednesday. She first threw up at 9pm and didn't stop till the next day at 2pm. I walked to Vons at 3:30am and bought her drugs. There were a lot of guys doing their shopping at 3:30am in the morning ... surreal and strange ... I think maybe they were there picking up????
She seems to be better now and I didn't catch it .. my super immune system has worked again!
Back at work and psycho Chelsea has gone and it's just me and Brittany. I am so happy. Good ridance to mean psycho's!
So Dayle, Amy and I went down to LA this weekend for the Kangaroo Jack premier. It was a very funny weekend and the good news is I managed not to smash our hire car this time round:

HIGHLIGHT - Strutting down the red carpet into the Chinese Theatre … Press & Paparazzi were lined up against banisters all vying(sp?) for a photo of all the famous people attending the launch. We felt very special.

MOST FAMOUS PERSON ATTENDING - probably Jerry O’Connell (it wasn’t a very famous affair).

OTHER SEMI FAMOUS PEOPLE ATTENDING - the other two leads (Estella Warren & Anthony Anderson), cute black guy from CSI, Crossing Jordon cast, other B-graders from various TV Sitcoms

WORST OUTFIT – Jerry O’Connell in his usual number; White tucked-in T-Shirt, faded jeans & white Adidas trainers A.K.A Jerry Seinfield

MOST EMBARRASSING MOMENT – When the big fat & very loud US Production Accountant (Gloria) stood up in a packed cinema and shouted across to Michael Shannon (one of the lead actors) who was sitting on the opposite side of the theatre in the VIP area “Michael Shannon, Michael Shannon, look who’s here .. it’s our Aussie friends … Stand Up girls, Stand Up girls … let him see you … “

BIGGEST CRINGE – when in the movie the kangaroo (jack) breaks into a rap ‘I say a hip hop a hippety hop’

2ND BIGGEST CRINGE – Estella Warren

3RD BIGGEST CRINGE – All the girls at the after-party who had wangled an invite somehow who were obviously there to attract the attention of a Bruckheimer producer … tiny outfits, stripper like dancing .. anything to get the attention of producers who obviously loved that they were trying to get their attention ...

MOST TRAGIC – One of the lovely Australian actors from the movie (who has post shoot made his way over to Hollywood to try and crack the big time) was there trying very hard to impress L.A. producers … he was accompanied by this freakoid of a woman wearing false eyelashes, giant flowers in her hair and lots of gold crosses who was so so in your face and claiming to be his ‘Publicist’. The poor boy has been totally sucked in by her and the whole Hollywood scene that he actually seems to have gone mad … an intervention and a one-way flight home to Sydney is required.

AFTER PARTY ENTERTAINMENT – girls in camel mini-skirts, cowboy hats & kangaroo jack T-Shirts dancing to “I say a hip hop a hippety hop”

AFTER PARTY NIBBLES – bad macaroni cheese, bad hamburgers, bad caesar & bad soggy chicken wings (according to Dayle) … bad bad bad

BEST EFFORT AWARD – to Dayle Hall for being there and being so chipper when she is still in major recovery mode from her 24 hour spew-athon

Tuesday, January 07, 2003

Premiere: 4pm Saturday 11 at the Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd
After party: Somewhere in Hollywood
Entertainment: Kangaroos wearing red jackets racing down Hollywood Blvd
Celebrity Guests: Jerry O'Connell, Estella Warren, Christopher Walken, Dyan Cannon, Claire & Dayle Hall, Amy Materne
So sweet Brittany came over for dinner at my place last night. Turns out that her and psycho Chelsea aren't best friends ... psycho is just as mean to Brittany as she is to me ... in fact psycho is a sabotare and has been logging onto Brittany's emails and sending emails as if Brittany were writing them. Psycho sabotare has been sabotaging me by telling me to do things the wrong way and then getting me in trouble for it.

So I guess I've gotta watch my back. It's a pretty tough game here at Mammoth Mountain Ski School Payroll .. you gotta be clever to rise to the top.

Sunday, January 05, 2003

I am so bored at work today... I want Dayle to come work with me.
I remembered a very funny thing last night in the bar that happened to me last year in Byron Bay. Amy and I got very drunk one night and ended up in this very dodgy club called 'KokoKabanas'. Amy was pulling on the dancefloor so I went to sit down on the benches with all the other people too drunk or not drunk enough to be pulling on the dancefloor. It looked like the guy next to me had a big pink bandage all over his leg so I asked him how he hurt his leg ... he goes 'what leg?', detached the whole thing and handed it to me. It didn't turn out badly though ... I complemented him on his leg (even though it seemed pretty crap to me) and he seemed to appreciate that.

Brittany & Chelsea have gone on a snowboarding break and left me in the office on my own. Thank god .. psycho Chelsea is in a bad mood and i'm feeling quite tired of hiding from her today. The outfits were pretty good:
Chelsea - black shiney, super baggy homey pants with a red shiney puffer jacket, black beanie
Brittany - camel pants with matching pale blue and camel jacket, pink & pale blue beanie
Last night we went to Shogun's for Karaoke. Had the best night out that I've had in this town so far. Chelsea bitch from work showed her true colours when this guy stupidly flicked her exposed g-string ... she went for him screaming and grabbed a saki bottle and tried to glass him with it ... he would have ended up in hospital if little sweet Brittany from work hadn't dragged her off of him and out the bar. I'm working with a psycho.
I work with Brittany & Chelsea. Brittany is blonde & very sweet & looks and acts a lot like the real Brittany. Chelsea is moody and a bit strange and is always really mean to me. She treats me like I'm really dumb and patronises me all the time. She leaves in a week and i'm gonna try and get Dayle her job so that I get to boss someone around and listen to something other than Mammoth Mountain Rock FM.

Wednesday, January 01, 2003

Dimi emailed me today with several concerns about our life here in Mammoth:
" 1. The life of a chalet maid is tiring and very ageing, please take it easy and ALWAYS wear rubber gloves. If guests ask for 'extras' they are not asking for you to clean under the bed.
2. Snowboarding is a young persons past-time and Dayle apart, we are not as young as we once were.
3. I hear Claire has frost-bite on her posterior, which means 82 percent of her body is affected.
4. Let's face it Saloppettes aren't the most flattering outfit ever created and may severly hinder your remote chances of pulling.
5. You are surround by Yanks.
6. Cheese is mainly processed and therefore tasteless and lacking in protein. "

I would like to make several points regarding Dimi's concerns:
1. Yes I do have frost-bite on my bottom and it is highly uncomfortable and very embarrassing. Friends should not joke at others poor fortune.
2. My bottom is very rounded at the moment but it's not that big.
3. I think my chances of pulling range from Average to Good. Excellent when I am wearing a hat.
Certain friends refer to me as Hattie ... it's because I can strike a mean looking pose in a hat. I'll post the photo's one day.
I always refer to Hattie in the third person.
I think Blog's are dumb but i've got lots of spare time in the Ski-School Payroll Office ... so I'll attempt a blog ... I doubt it will last ... I get bored with this kinda stuff very easily.